Grief Recovery Institute Featured Question - The right tools are the pathway to recovery from grief. (Published 01/19/2016)

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The right tools are the pathway to recovery from grief. (Published 01/19/2016)

My twin sister died nineteen months ago, and eighteen months ago my mother died while I was incarcerated. I was in jail because I’d stolen from my her. My guilt about that was and is horrible. I was using drugs then, but I’m clean almost two years now. My cousin died last summer—I missed his funeral too. A week ago my dad died, and the family wouldn’t let me attend the services. I've stayed clean and sober through all of this in my mom’s and twin sister’s honor. I’m saddened and broken. Please help.

A Grief Expert Replies:

Dear Melissa,

Thanks for your note and question.

I don’t know if you and your sister were identical or fraternal twins, but my sisters are identical, so I have a special place in my heart for twins.

It's amazing that you managed to stay clean and sober in the face of all those losses. And the fact that you were able to use your feelings about your mom and sister to help you with that, gives us the idea that when you have the right tools, you’ll be able to deal with the incredible grief that has accumulated for you [and that includes your grief over your own actions that contributed to you being in jail.

Go to the library or bookstore and get a copy of The Grief Recovery Handbook. It will be your took kit. Read it and take the actions it outlines. As you do, you’ll find a big shift in how you feel. The sense of being broken will diminish, and sadness will be an occasional feeling not a constant companion.

From our hearts to yours,

Russell and John

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The right tools are the pathway to recovery from grief. (Published 01/19/2016)

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