A Grief Expert Replies:

Dear Maha,

We can just imagine the impact on your emotions when your daughter asked about taking the plane to heaven.

On page 232 of our book, When Children Grieve, we wrote, “Most people allude to heaven being up

above. Small children take that very literally, also. We have been told many times of children looking out of airplane windows, trying to find Grandpa.”

We also reacted to your poignant language that “Life itself just seems very tasteless, nothing seems to matter.”

Millions of people can relate to what you’ve said. And although there’s no need to redefine your words, we would like to comment on your comments. When someone important to us dies, the rest of the world goes out of focus. The things that are typically important to us recede into the background. The only thing that’s important is the absence of that person, and the automatic review of the relationship we had with him or her.

We most want you to know that what you report about your thoughts and feelings is totally normal and natural, and even healthy.

Please go to the bookstore or library and get a copy of When Children Grieve, it will help you guide your daughter with her grief, and also help you recognize how important it is for you deal with your own emotions so you can be an accurate and helpful guide for her.

From our hearts to yours,

Russell
And
John