Grief Recovery Institute Featured Question - We all grieve in our own way and pace; but many of us are missing the actions that will help us "complete" our grief. (Published 2/17/2015)

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We all grieve in our own way and pace; but many of us are missing the actions that will help us "complete" our grief. (Published 2/17/2015)

My dad died two years ago, sadly, a week before Father’s Day. I never got along with my step-mom, and when dad died she sold all of his belongings; had him cremated; and didn’t have a service. I was not able to lay my dad to rest nor really grieve. This has caused me a lot of depression problems and marriage problems. I miss him so much. Will this ever get better?

A Grief Expert Replies:

Dear Kirk,

Thanks for your note and question.

Respectfully, we disagree when you say that you’ve never been able to grieve. We think you’ve been grieving the whole time.

As the famous expression goes, " all grieve in our own way and at our own pace."

We agree with that, but what’s missing, is that you haven’t known how to complete your grief, therefore you’re stuck.

We agree with you that the absence of a memorial service or funeral can compound the pain and rob you of a chance to say goodbye.

Please go to the library or bookstore and get a copy of The Grief Recovery Handbook. Read it and take the actions it outlines. As you do, you’ll find yourself better able to participate in life and hopefully, a reduction in your marriage problems, which are probably a by-product of your ongoing grief.

From our hearts to yours,

Russell and John

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We all grieve in our own way and pace; but many of us are missing the actions that will help us "complete" our grief. (Published 2/17/2015)

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