Grief Recovery Institute Featured Question - The absence of important people in our lives is difficult at the best of times, but at difficult times, we miss them exponentially. (Published 4/14/2015)

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The absence of important people in our lives is difficult at the best of times, but at difficult times, we miss them exponentially. (Published 4/14/2015)

It has been 16 years since my Dad died and 15 months later, my Mom died. People keep saying that "It gets easier in time". No it doesn't! I go through life, but the pain and sadness are always in my heart. I want to know, when does it get easier? I’m going through a lot of difficulties now and I really want and need my parents, just to talk to, to give me advice on what to do. I miss them both so much. I just want the pain to stop. Help?

A Grief Expert Replies:

Dear Debi,
Thanks for your note and questions.
We hear you loud and clear!
The absence of important people in our lives is difficult at the best of times, but at difficult times in our lives, we miss them exponentially.
However, the idea that time modifies feelings is and always has been incorrect. It is actions taken within time that can help you, not time by itself. But in order to take actions, you need to know what those actions are.
Go to the library or book store and get a copy of The Grief Recovery Handbook. The subtitle of the book is: The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses including Health, Career, and Faith. As you read the book and take the actions it outlines, you’ll find a reduction in pain and a major shift in how you feel and think.
With that you’ll also have better access—though indirect—to the kind of guidance and comfort you used to have in a direct way with your parents.
From our hearts to yours,
Russell and John

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The absence of important people in our lives is difficult at the best of times, but at difficult times, we miss them exponentially. (Published 4/14/2015)

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Ask The Grief Experts Archives

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