Grief Recovery Institute Featured Question - Grieving people sometimes don't ask for help, and if it's offered, they won’t always take advantage of it. (Published 6-12-2012)

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Grieving people sometimes don't ask for help, and if it's offered, they won’t always take advantage of it. (Published 6-12-2012)

Hi, I was wondering if you could help me. My brother died 8-13-2010. He was 33, I am 32. We were real close. He still lived at home with my mom. He died there with her from a drug overdose. We're having a hard time dealing with this, but my mother's not doing well at all. I don’t know if it's possible to grieve yourself to death, but if it is, she’s well on her way. I was wondering if you had any advice or could help in anyway. Thank you and hope to be hearing from you soon. Thanks again.

A Grief Expert Replies:

Dear Cori,

Thanks for your note and your concern about your mom.

Yes, it's possible for people to die of a broken heart. In a famous 1984 study of 95,647 widowed persons in Finland, it was established that the heart attack rates more than doubled for male survivors and more than tripled for women. And, the overall death rate was 6.5% higher in that group than normal.

One of the problems is that grieving people sometimes don't ask for help, and if it's offered, they won’t always take advantage of it. You may have experienced this with your mother.

We’d suggest that you get a copy of The Grief Recovery Handbook [available in most libraries and bookstores]. Read the first 58 pages [Part One] and then offer it to your mother. Tell her, “Here’s a book that I found helpful in dealing with my brother’s death, I though you might find it helpful too.”

Hopefully, if you give it to her with that explanation, she will decide to read it. And if she does read it, it will help her.

From our hearts to yours,

Russell And John

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Grieving people sometimes don't ask for help, and if it's offered, they won’t always take advantage of it. (Published 6-12-2012)

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