Grief Recovery Institute Featured Question - It's not just knowing what to do, you have to do it! (Published 10/27/2015)

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It's not just knowing what to do, you have to do it! (Published 10/27/2015)

I lost my sister when I was 3. After that my mom lost it and started pills. I was molested on a regular basis by a family member till I was 17. I lost my mom to suicide when I was 23. My ex husband brought me up to New England and I had 2 more children. I started getting sick - my thyroid was shutting down. My ex had an affair. Then came 9/11, and my daughter joined the marines. On her way to being sworn in, she was in a horrible car accident. My world turned upside down. I got her back to health, then had to become her guardian. My husband left me for his therapist. He shipped me and my disabled daughter to New Mexico. I had to work my way back to Mass. I moved in with a friend and then my Daddy died. He was found dead on the floor. He had been dead for at least 3 days. He was green when we viewed his body. 2 weeks later my 1st cousin by marriage was murdered in Boston at a drug rehab location. 4 days after that I was in court getting a divorce. I came home to find my 19 year old son had overdosed. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm being punished. My health is failing. I'm backed into a corner taking care of everyone but myself.

A Grief Expert Replies:

Dear Rachael,

Thanks for your note.

It's almost impossiblefor us to comment on the litany of losses in your life, other that to say that in the end you already know that you have to take care of yourself.

But, knowing that isn’t always enough, you somehow have to force yourself to do it, not just know it.

Go to the library or book store and get a copy of The Grief Recovery Handbook. It will help you become emotionally complete with all the major people who have affected your life – many of them in very negative ways.

Since you have so many losses, it will take you some time to plow through all the work the book asks you to do. But you must do it – it is one of the most effective ways you can really take care of yourself.

From our hearts to yours,

Russell and John

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It's not just knowing what to do, you have to do it! (Published 10/27/2015)

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