A Grief Expert Replies:

Dear Anon,

Thanks for your note, though we imagine it was painful for you to write.

Not knowing the nature or content of the “grief counseling” you tried that didn’t seem to help, it’s awkward for us to comment. Although, over the years we’ve been contacted by thousands of people who said something similar.

Many of them had been in some kind of grief support group, which tends to support the expression of pain and rarely helps people with actions of recovery or completion.

What gives us hope on your behalf, is that in spite of your obvious pain and pessimistic view of the future, you have nonetheless reached out to us with your question about whether you will ever start to feel good again.

The answer is yes, you can, but only if you take a set of actions that will help you become emotionally complete with your son who died. The actions that can help you are detailed in The Grief Recovery Handbook [available in most libraries and bookstores]. Get the book and start taking the actions it outlines.

By the way, we must tell you that many, many people who believe[d] in God, who were affected by a tragic loss, experience a “loss of faith in God,” so they lose that alleged fall-back position. The group we’ve observed that most often have that happen, are those who had a child die.

While we never compare or rank losses, we know that the death of a child is so tremendously difficult for people to adapt to and find a way to move forward in their lives. As you read the The Grief Recovery Handbook, you’ll become aware that it was the death of his three day old son, that caused Grief Recovery Institute founder, John W. James, to develop this program, in order to save his own life.

From our hearts to yours,

Russell And John